Snippets of Insights from Chaya Sarah Genesis ch 23 -25 v 14 including ideas for choosing the correct spouse :)

BS”D

Snippets of Insights from Chaya Sarah Genesis ch 23 -25 v 14 including ideas for choosing the correct spouse :)

V3 The Small Chaf when Abraham cried

“And Abraham rose from the presence of his dead” Why say rose from?

I heard from Rabbi Steinhauer why would the Torah use the words "rose from the Presence of his dead", his wonderful insight is confirmed from the previous verse 2 which reads

“Sarah died in Kiryas Arba, which is Chevron, in the land of Canaan.  Abraham came to eulogise Sarah and to weep for her." VELIVkSAH in Hebrew means to weep but why is the Chaf small?...

In the Torah the Chaf in Hebrew is written in small for a reason that I heard from Rabbi Aurbach, it symbolises Abraham cried inwardly and did not make a commotion, his sadness was there but it was contained, (after all she had lived a full life of 127 years).  The following v 3 indicating he rose from the presence of his dead indicates he accepted his suffering with dignity.  He rose up – perhaps the take home message is often we suffer and become bitter and take it out on those around us.  This is understandable due to the pain, but the most admirable lesson our forefather teaches us is to contain the impact of our suffering in a way that will not impact negatively on those around us, all according to our ability!

 

The missing Vav in Ephron's name also perhaps has a message for us to learn from?
The wicked say much and do little. The Vav in Ephron’s name disappears after taking the money from Abraham, he initially offers it to him as a gift, he mentions this fact of it being a given to him over and over in a single paragraph, I heard on a tape by Chief rabbi Goldstein after Ephron accepts money for the plot at an over priced rate -given to him at a very heavy price- the Vav in his name is taken away and that this is an indication Ephron diminished himself in the eyes of G-d Almighty.

Ch 23 V10 and 11

EphrOn (O=in Hebrew is with a Vav) "The Chitite replied to Abraham in the ears of the sons of Cheis (talking big in front of others reflects immodest behaviour and seeking Honour, better is he who does a lot on the quiet in the eyes of heaven) for all who came to the city gate  saying V11 “ No my master, hear me, I have given (gift) you the field, and the cave that is in it, I have also given you, before the eyes of the sons of my people I have given to you. Bury your dead.”

Ephron repeats the gesture of a gift given to Abraham no less than three times in one sentance, I think a lesson could be one should be careful who one accepts gifts from, if you are in need, we never want to be beholden to wrong type of person! Abraham sees between the lines and all the promises of giving and responds:

V12 Abraham bows down to the people, note  not to Ephron but to the elders, Rabbi Taback explained these rights of property Abraham was buying (sourced from Rabbi Zweig of Miami) were  a request for unquestionable sovereign rights to the land, similar to buying a country, that is why he wanted the leading council to accept the deal and why he paid for it in international currency.

V13 He spoke to EphrOn in the ears of the people of the land saying, “if you will only listen to me.  I have given the money (I don’t want a gift) for the field, take it from me and I will bury my dead there."

The response by Ephron in verse 15 shows his demise in stature the eyes of Hashem per the opinion I heard from the Chief rabbi Goldstein, illustrated below

V15

My Master hear me. A land worth 400 silver (international currency – we learn this was international currency from verse 16 see below, which states "accepted by the Merchant") shekels what is it between me and you? Bury your Dead.  (Shekel means money with weight – money worth a lot in Hebrew.)

V16 And Avraham listened to EphrOn, and Abraham weighed out for Ephrn the Silver( note : o= the vav is now missing in the Torah after the payment was weighed).

And Abraham listened to Ephron, and Abraham weighed out to Ephrn the silver that he had named in the hearing of the sons of Heth, four hundred shekels of silver, accepted by the merchant.

טז. וַיִּשְׁמַע אַבְרָהָם אֶל עֶפְרוֹן וַיִּשְׁקֹל אַבְרָהָם לְעֶפְרֹן אֶת הַכֶּסֶף אֲשֶׁר דִּבֶּר בְּאָזְנֵי בְנֵי חֵת אַרְבַּע מֵאוֹת שֶׁקֶל כֶּסֶף עֹבֵר לַסֹּחֵר:

 

We see that is in not necessarily good to chase Material wealth and to G-d who see's everything – your integrity is worth more than Silver, even international currency like Pounds sterling!!!!

 

Choosing a spouse – based on a tape by Rabbi Goldfein ztl.

When Abraham sends Eliezer to find a spouse for his son, the criteria Eliezer uses with his test at the well, is not cireteria of wealth but rather it is a test that the suitor have the quality of true kindness.

Rabbi Goldfein of Blessed memory states the test he devised, covered not only kindness i.e. offering Eliezer water to drink – this is wonderful, but most decent people will do kindness when presented with a suffering person in front of them, the test extended to offering the 10 Camels to drink too - going beyond.  Eliezer wanted a Wife for Isaac that would have the same values of wishing to persue kindness like that of her father in law to be - Abraham, we spoke about that in my last post. The truest kindness is one done by a person who seeks out ways of doing kindness, not to only to do a good deed which is often done to ease one’s own sense of guilt, or mercy – but a trait, showing a real love for G-d’s creations and a want to improve the world to peruse chase after kindness and peace.

Eliezer stands at a well of water, (we see in the Torah Wells are the place to find fine women or spouses as an example in a few places e.g. the discovery of Rebecca wife of Isaac in this Parasha, later with Rachel the wife of Jacob and also with Tzipora Moses’s wife, all these ladies were found next to wells.  In Chasidus we learn a well is likened to women of valour, a well is deep and from within it is water representing the giving of Life.   Wells and water is symbolic of giving life from within.  In the way it takes effort to dig and then to draw water out of a wells, in the same way a fine woman wants to bring children into the world which requires much sacrifice and selflessness.  The life (baby) also come from within her.

When Rebecca is chosen as a suitor and is riding on the Camel and she sees Isaac praying in the field the Torah raises a sentence about this moment – showing how dear it was to Hashem. Ch 24 on being notified her future husband was in front of her what does she do see v 65 “She then took the veil and covered herself” – How revered is modesty in the eyes of the Almighty.

 

Qualities to Avoid

-          Arrogance

-          Cruelty

-          Someone who displays a hatred to people or fellow creations

-          Wealth for wealth’s sake alone

Qualities to  seek in a spouse

-          Modesty

-          Humility

-          Compassion

-          Kindness

 

Wishing you a good Week

G-d Bless

Michael